Upgrade? More like capital punishment.

I do quite a bit of traveling for my job and spend lots of time on airplanes and in rental cars.  Last week, the gentleman at the Pensacola rental desk handed me the keys to my car and cheerfully announced I had received an upgrade.   I get these routinely so it’s no big deal.. it didn’t even pique my interest…..until I arrived at spot C26.   It was occupied by a Prius. 

This is an upgrade?

It was very late and I was too tired to go ask for another car,  I decided to try it for 4 days.  Unmitigated agony.  Full disclosure…. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool car guy and love cars.  So much so that I name my cars….Betsy, Kirsty, Meg (puRRrrrRRr), etc.. I love cars.

The Prius isn’t a car.   It’s a transportation module.  Cars are supposed to be an extension of the human… the Prius subordinates the human to part of the transportation module.  It’s fuel reminder is like a school marm of how the human is contributing to the module.  Please feed me is your constant reminder.  Not how your car is performing… but how you’re performing for the car.

You want power when you drive?  You have to push the ‘power’ button to get more power.  I thought that was what the freaking accelerator was for.  Starting the ‘engine’?  Push the power button and wait for the ‘Ready’ light.  Good grief.  Can a guy get a tachometer or at least the low muffle of some exhaust in here?

I felt like forfeiting my ‘man card’ to the other motorists when I was refueling.   I was desperate for a Corolla by the end of the week.   Never again.


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